A Free Fall

Falling out of nowhere, a free fall.
A lifeless body racing towards, where? She doesn’t know. She’s not in control of this pull on her body and she is definitely not in control of this pull on her soul.
Was it so long ago that she was grounded? It seems like it was millenia away. She has fleeting memories of a time gone by. However, she can’t quite remember the feelings of those times.
Right now, all she feels is a void. It’s not the kind of void where something is missing, it is a the void of nothing having ever been there, and the feeling that it’s impossible for anything to ever be there.
Falling, falling, falling.
She wonders to herself, how far down will I go? There may be something to cather her fall but she knows there won’t be.
This kind of free fall is not one where you land on a cloud or a into the arms of a protector. It’s almost as if there’s nothing down there at all, the same void that lies within. There is nothing that will ever be there.
Again, another thought. If void means completely empty, perhaps that’s not the right word. Empty implies that something was there once. There was never anything there, and it is not possible for anything to ever be. The entrance to the cavern of her soul is sealed. It is a tomb that shall never be discovered or explored, and it will stay that way.
So, she no longer questions. She lets go. She gives in to the fall; she embraces the pull. There is no reason to fight it because it is who she is.
She has become the fall.
11953605_416853538517821_5366803316615420727_o (1)Stacie Earley is 29 years old and resides in Lansing, MI with her husband and their daughter. She has had a long and very personal battle with mental illness for most of her life. Stacie was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2011, although it had been a long time coming. Ending the stigma of mental illness is incredibly important to her as she believes each person battling those demons also happen to be the strongest warriors in the world.

Published by Breannah

Wife. Mother. Activist. All things empowering women and girls and centering girls of color.

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